Get all 7 Clearly Guilty releases available on Bandcamp and save 15%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Attack of Opportunity, What's The Worst That Could Happen?, Throwing Shade, #BasicNerd, There Goes the Galaxy, Character Sheet, and Press Start.
1. |
Guilty As Sin
04:01
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GUILTY AS SIN
V1 (Horatio):
Hello my name's Horatio
Well met, how do you do?
I like to chase my whiskey
With a daiquiri or two (girls: "or nine")
I'm the master of my instrument
The Paragon of Song
But I'm in a group with women
So I'm clearly always wrong
CHORUS:
I'm drunken and disorderly
Occasionally I steal
I'm hardly ever innocent
My halo isn't real
I'm crude and I'm obnoxious
don't care what state I'm in
But if you said that I was entertainiiiiing
Then I'd say I'm Clearly Guilty as sin
V2 (Moya):
I'm Moya, but I'm guessing that
We might've met before
I think I liked you better when
Your clothes were on my floor
And if I weren't so sober
You would be less of a bore...
But just because I'm pretty doesn't
mean that I'm a....
CHORUS
V3 (vespaer):
Hello, my name is Vespaer
I could eat my weight in cheese
I like to think that I can conjure
Rainbows when I sneeze
I'm sweet and cute and cuddly
It's the perfect alibi
And when they get me on the stand
I'm probably gonna lie
CHORUS
v4
Hello my name's Rowena
I'm the Brightest of the bunch
and if you bet agaisnt me
then you'll likely lose your lunch
My intellect is stunning;
you'll perish on my wit
and if knowledge equals power than
Than in place of a Dark Lord you would set up a queen, beautiful and terrible!
Chorus
My preacher says I'm guilty
my accountant says I'm guilty
my lawyer says I'm guilty so I guess that it is true
But when you are so guilty
of always being guilty
have a guilty get together
and we'll tell you what to do
Some people try to hide it
be a fellow guilty too
cause why would we deny it
when we profit like we do
We save our self some trouble
some money and some time
we just admit we're guilty
and we'll even make it rhyme
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2. |
A Pirate Shanty
03:07
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A brand new movie I did buy
rip'em and zip'em and upload quick
a blue ray disk goes in my drive
rip'em and zip'em and upload quick
I send it off in a torrent file
rip'em and zip'em and upload quick
My piratical ways cause me to smile
Chorus
then spread the files far and wide
no copyright law will I abide
My fiber's fast my hard drive thick
rip'em and zip'em and upload quick
Comidies, Action, Drama too
rip'em and zip'em and upload quick
I'll copy 'em then upload 'em for you
rip'em and zip'em and upload quick
I have no standards you might say
rip'em and zip'em and upload quick
but I'd never rip a movie by Michael Bay
Chorus
The MPAA says I'm vile
rip'em and zip'em and upload quick
I say their all in tech denile
rip'em and zip'em and upload quick
They say I'm stealing what is theirs
rip'em and zip'em and upload quick
but how can I steal what I bought right fair
Chorus
One day they'll trace it back to me
rip'em and zip'em and upload quick
a jail house is my destiny
rip'em and zip'em and upload quick
They'll name the crimes that caused my fall
rip'em and zip'em and upload quick
But they'll never jail the bankers who broke us all
Chorus
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3. |
Character Sheet
03:09
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When the last die rolls
and the savings failed
and the Priest is out
of healing spells
and the orcs close in
and there's no retreat
I will lay you down
in that folder sweet
I will lay you down
with those who fought before
in the folder where
you won't be torn
Your deeds live on, in memeory sweet
For I will save your charcter sheet
We made it past
that goblin tribe
and not a one,
of them survived
In every fight
we'd ne'er retreat
that's why your gone
to that folder sweet
No resurrection
will that priest say
for this fight was
a TPK
Time to reroll
and take vengance sweet
someone please pass
a new character sheet.
A brand new Character
Comes this way
Your death's debt soon
will be repaid
And then I'll add
some fresh XP
to my the my brand
new character sheet.
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4. |
Pirate Peter
03:58
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there was a man named peter
a pirate bold and brave
with his flowing hair and his golden tan
he rode upon the waves
he got into a battle
and a sword cut off his leg
and a change of name was his claim to fame
as they handed him his peg
It's the story of peg legged peter
But Peter went back sailing
a pirate strong and true
and despite his peg
he was bold and brave
though his tap dance wrdays were through
one night when he was sailing
a line wrapped round his leg
the line drew tight and his leg popped off
and he got his second peg
it's the story of 2 pegged peter
he pirate days now over
he took it rather hard
a happy lad but he's rather sad
that he lost his ninja card
he went down to a whore house
and everything was great1
till a lusty wench he didn't pay
cut off his wee first mate
it's story of three peg peter
now before you all start crying
over peter's horrid fate
there's some things to know before you go
there's some facts we've yet to state
so if peter's peters passing
leaves your peter pretty glum
he has a new girl on the hour
cause he goes and never comes
It's the story of three pegged peter
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5. |
Coal, Grease, and Time
03:34
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Time goes by
but not in the direction your used to
watch it fly
backwards your time returned to you
Chorus
Coal to the boilers
and grease to the gears
Wrap up the space and fold in the years
Stealing the moment is our only crime
and now we got nothing but time
Take my hand
fly with me through the ages
All so grand
Watch the years turning like pages
Chorus
Years dance and Space spins
I'm lost in your grin
Over and Over and over again
Nothing to lose when it's all gone this thin
Where'd it go
A year or a day I no longer know
What to show
Start it all over and go with the flow
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6. |
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They say I'm to old
for cartoons on TV
and that's before they learn
It's anime for me
I still read comics,
I still play my rpgs
and I don't care if they agree
cause I know every line of spaceballs
like the back of my hand
and if you wanna watch the princess bride
I'll say- as you wish
I love the weird wild and wonderful
I laugh at the absurd
I'm just a little eccentric
I am a fullblooded nerd
I've passed the age
where I'm supposed to like these things
but I don't care- we nerds live just like kings
It is a golden age, our nerdoms free of strings
and they even let me sing
And though I remember THAC0,
I'm not past my prime
so if any nerd out there hears me
shout along - "IT'S OUR TIME'
I love the weird wild and wonderful
I laugh at the absurd
I'm just a little eccentric
I am a fullblooded nerd
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7. |
Standard Action
04:24
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A Standard Action
V1: A
So it's Tuesday night and I am
So excited, gotta run,
Puttin' on my game face!
Gonna grab my books, then stop and
Take a look for my dice
Then I'm outta this place
I spent half the day before just
Slaving away with my pen and paper
Makin' my girl!
Now I'm feelin' alright
Let's hope I did this right!
'Cause I'm jumpin' in that Pathfinder world!
V1: B
And RIGHT OFF THE BAT
I roll initiative
An 18s good right?
Feel like I'm finally livin'
Then the DM turns to me,
I hold my breath as our eyes meet
And then he says, "What do you want to do do do DOOOO????"
CHORUS:
And I haven't got a fucking clue.
God, I'm such a total noob!
Flip some pages, stall for time
While the Fighter rolls his eyes
A standard action? I guess I'll just move.
V2: A
I swear it isn't fair, but if I
Move to that square, I'll provoke
Attacks of opportunity
You know, I rolled a healer, not a
Damage dealer, shouldn't
Someone else be going before me?
What does Channel mean? The Ranger's
Being mean, but I guess he's always
Kind of a dick...
But this morningstar won't get me
Very far, so I've gotta
Think of something quick.
V2: B
My finger TURNS THE NEXT PAGE,
This spell looks kinda neat
A plus one to rolls,
Hope I don't need a feat
The wizard cracks his knuckles, grins
His eyes are gleaming, let's begin
The DM turns to player number two two two twoooooo
CHORUS:
And says, "Now what do you wanna do?"
And it's like a dream come true!
I just made the right move!
I had so much to prove!
A standard action? Get in the groove!
BRIDGE:
And it turns out that skeletons are
susceptible to fire!
And cave trolls don't like being frozen, and
skill points in Climb will get you higher!
And this scroll has a magical aura, but a
Knowledge check'll solve that mystery
And after a little light reading, I
Know how to Channel Energyyyyy....
V3: A
Now it's the end of the night,
I killed a ghoul and a wight,
And I'm finally gettin' into the swing
Though I'm a little confused on how
My CMD is used, and
What's up with that flat-footed thing?
But I'm just munching a snack,
Because it's time to attack
And the Ranger switches out to his bow
I've got my spellbook full, the Fighter
Takes a pull from his beer,
The Wizard's ready to go
V3: B
And now we're ON THE FINAL BOSS
The fighter says, "Be wary,"
Eat an M&M
Cause this is kinda scary
I wipe the chocolate from my face,
It's time to go, don't hesitate,
We roll the dice to know just what we'll do do do dooooo
CHORUS:
And I rolled a motherfucking two.
Better than the hit roll, true
But it's hard to wait my turn
Want to make that monster burn
A standard action? How far can I move?
How far can I move?
How far can I moooooove?
A standard action? How far can I move!!!
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8. |
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9. |
Secret
03:18
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I have a secret
I can see secret paths of probability
I know whats likely, I know whats rare
I know I'm the only one who can see
and I can predict what you will do
Before you've even made up your mind
Then say the one thing to change it too
your secrets are mine to find
I've got a secret
WHat you don't know will bring you down
I've got a secret
It's a secret
And with it we can rule this town
I have a secret
My face can change like ripples on sand
I can grow another arm, or fangs or claws,
or even become a man
And I can know your secrets too,
with a trusting face who wouldn't be sure
And if I wanted I could even be you,
but I don't know if I'm me anymore
I've got a secret
You can't even trust your eyes
I've got a secret
It's a secret
And any who crosses us dies
the world keeps spinning round (Ah)
the world keeps spinning
and nothing's gonna keep me down (Shhhhh)
I,I,I,
I've got a secret
like a shade of the past I've a got vision in sight
You look at me, but then I'm gone
like a shadow fading into the night
I am with you, all alone
and you might suspect but you'll never know
Protect by daylight to atone
but by night my darkness will be shown
I've got a secret
I'm the last one you'd suspect
I've got a secret
It's a secret
and by morning all you love has been wrecked
I've got a secret
WHat you don't know will bring you down
I've got a secret
It's a secret
And with it we can rule this town
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10. |
Neville's Anthem
03:11
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You say harry's dead
like a book that's all been read
and there's naught but pain unless we yield
and it's hard to face
the loss we must embrace
all the loved ones strewn accross this field
their death's have brought this fight
we know we're in the right
so even though you've torn through our last shield
well he's dead not gone
his words they linger on
withg a truth your evil eyes can't see
so this sword I'll wield
and never shall I yield
Harry potter's fire lives on in me.
You ask me to choose
you ask what I have to loose
it's so much more than you can ever know
so I'll stand and fight
through this cold and lonely night
one way or another, there's not much left to go
and if you think you've won, this battles just begun
we'll pay the cost our love's true power to show
well he's dead not gone
his words they linger on
withg a truth your evil eyes can't see
so this sword I'll wield
and never shall I yield
Harry potter's fire lives on in me.
and the fire in his
burns hard as a phoenix cry
his legacy ensures he'll never die
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11. |
Dear Michael
04:45
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When I was a little child
I lived for every day
but one was my favorite,
I couldn't wait for saturday
GI Joe and Transformers
and He-Man all day long
Gummie Bears and Bravestar
and I could sing the opening songs
I may have gotten older, but I remember well
then one man turned my childhood
into a nightmarish hell
Micheal Bay please stop killing off my childhood
Micheal Bay leave those franchises alone
You visions are quite clear
but they ruin all I hold dear
MIcheal Bay Leave my childhood alone.
Transformers was a steaming pile
even though Megan was hot
2 hours of rambling plot holes
and explosions is what we got
and now you turn your baleful eye
upon turtles from my youth
I would rather do something pleasent
like bang a hammer on my tooth
Micheal Bay please stop killing off my childhood
Micheal Bay leave those franchises alone
transformers are plastic made
like the performance your actors gave
MIcheal Bay Leave my childhood alone.
Bridge:
What happened to the Micheal Bay
who gave us Bad Boys and The Rock
With characters we loved
and adventure... and a plot
Or is it that we buy this crap
that you can't seem to quit
if we refused to buy it
would you stop producing shit?
I leave you with a happy thought
on which to rest upon
at least you are still better
than M Night Shamalan
Micheal Bay please stop killing off my childhood
Micheal Bay leave those franchises alone
Once your films were the best
time to give cartoons a rest
MIcheal Bay Leave my childhood alone.
Micheal Bay please stop killing off my childhood
Micheal bay leave those franchises alone
I don't know how to end this song
I guess explosions are never wrong
Micheal bay leave my childhood alone
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